Dear All,
My respects to you All.
Auspiciousness and Peace be to All!
***
1) When I wake up from sleep by 4-00 AM, every day, it is a surprise to me, to see that I am ALIVE!
2) Here is another day to live – to be lived!
3) For me, it is not an ‘All Happy’ thing.
4) The ‘non-existing-entity’, that was absent in my sleep, is now sitting in the bed, with a ‘compulsion by Nature’, to meet another day.
5) There is a slight sense of loathing.
6) Sorrow of the world,that was absent in my sleep, surrounds me.
7) Heavy sameness of the days, of people and me, impinge upon me.
8) The bygone yesterday seems like smoke that vanished without a trace.
9) The solid fact of today – whether you want to live it or not – COMPULSIVELY weighs heavy on my body and mind.
10) Horrors of the world, poverty, disgrace, discords, pettiness and silliness of people at large, sickening thoughts of the incurable Humanity, all weigh me down.
11) The bright awareness that ‘I am actually free’ from Human Condition, uplifts me.
12) Energy fills my body and mind, and I jump up from bed, fully charged like a fresh butter-fly.
13) As I light a cigar, the fire tip burns the rotten cores of Humanity, and I see the illusory sorrows of people too mingling the evanescent smokes.
14) As I light another cigar, I am reminded that though suffering is illusory, it is real and painful for the one who experiences it.
15) I feel my helplessness over that, but I cheer up myself that God, or the Source (which we could never know – THE UNKNOWABLE) will take care of people, and I amend my inadequacy.
16) I have a nice daily routine, that is delightful, but not without the mild undercurrent of pain and sorrow of people.
17) 10 k.m. barefoot walk relaxes my body and mind.
18) Reading, listening to music, watching a DVD movie, browsing my iPAD, writing Blog Post, replying some mails, are some joyful engagements.
19) A frugal meal is appetizing but loathing too, along with the everyday, inevitable compulsive cores like bathing, emptying bowels, cleaning around, readying clothes, helping domestic needs, compromising mother and wife disputes, listening to some woes of neighbors, updating with newspaper horrors, managing inclement weather, managing mosquito bites, tolerating 18 hrs. power cut, the little and big annoyances of daily life etc. etc.
20) A sip of little drinks invigorates my body and mind.
21) Meeting others who are absorbed in their little world of ego, instinctive passions, greed, vengeance, cheating, aggrandizement are totally loathsome and repelling.
22) No way for me to see like spiritual people, who say ‘perverted people are God in that form’, and they deserve our love.
23) For me, it will be sheer waste of time, because I believe one has to save oneself and not by a Savior.
24) I recommend to all wanting to enjoy Freedom, to be in seclusion at large.
25) In all my daily activities, there’s no person (entity) in me.
26) For me, each moment is fresh and it immediately dies as it is born, like the cigar that disappears into thin smoke, forever.
27) I see myself only as a flesh and blood body only.
28) I have found no ‘soul’ in me.
29) My body is, the product of the meeting of the ovum and sperm, of my biological mother and father.
30) My body is made up of, the same physical atoms that fill this Eternal Physical Universe – where after my death, my body cells will be recycled by the Universe into something else.
31) I AM MORTAL – I AM NOT IMMORTAL.
32) Since I have no imagination – I have no heaven to attain.
33) Each moment is heavenly, – of course tainted by the ills of Humanity & Human Condition.
34) But ‘I am actually free’ and I am impervious to the impacts of this sick humanity.
35) My secret longing is to disappear into OBLIVION of physical death.
36) But I respect Mother Nature – to take me to her domain – at her own sweet will.
37) Every moment is a surprise to me, to see that I miraculously exist here!
38) I NEVER KNEW MYSELF BEFORE MY BIRTH; I WILL NEVER KNOW MYSELF AFTER MY DEATH; AND THEN THERE IS NO WAY, TO REMEMBER MY 60 YEARS OF LIFE THAT I LIVED HERE.
39) I understand, these are bit bizarre too!
40) BUT THAT’S HOW THINGS ARE!
41) My pleasures and pains are basically – UTTERLY MEANINGLESS!
42) Eternal Physical Universe, experiences ITSELF as you, me and everything.
43) I/Me are my own imagination.
44) Ultimate FACT is – I do not exist.
45) But I am aware – as a social being, as a member of my immediate ‘societal set up’ – I have to carry on, an identity, till the LAST HOUR AND MINUTE OF MY PHYSICAL DEATH – which is loathsome too!
46) I go to bed very early around 7-00 PM.
47) I sleep like a log of wood.
48) Sleep is sister of DEATH – Sleep is temporary oblivion; Death is permanent oblivion – OBLIVION IS OUR ETERNAL HOME!
49) My ‘HAPPIEST DAY’ will be the day of my physical death.
50) BUT UNFORTUNATELY, – I CANNOT SEE MY PHYSICAL DEATH, I CANNOT SEE THAT I AM PHYSICALLY DEAD – ONLY OTHERS CAN SEE IT!
***
Regards,
Justine
15-2-2013 11-51 AM
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